We love us some cheesy horror flicks!!

Hello boys and girls! Nick and I have been amazingly busy as of late, selling our books, living the glamorous lives of poor, starving authors! However, we have found time to watch a few high quality selections for the cheesy horror movie section! You know you all love them too, movies so bad you love them!! First up, we watched 'The Human Centipede' I mean any movie that requires the pretty young actresses to get naked and have their heads bandaged to someone's ass for the WHOLE movie has to be watched. Overall it didn't disappoint, the story was ludicrous, the acting was terrible and omg..the bad guy was so cheesy it hurt. The problem with this movie is it tried way to hard to take it's self seriously, I mean read the premise...how can anyone take that seriously!! Anyways, I will post the trailer below for those of you that haven't heard of this gem, if you have seen it, let me know what your thoughts on it were!



Next up we were perusing the offerings of netflix streaming and we stumbled across a movie called 'Thankskilling' all about a killer turkey and the tag line was "gobble, gobble motherfucker!" How could we not watch this!! So we hit play and let the fun begin...with the opening shot of a pilgrim women running around with her bare boobs flapping in the wind to the cheesy credits complete with turkey gobbles in the background, we knew we had made the right entertainment choice for the night! It was oh so cheesy and terrible it was awesome! If you have netflix, go watch it RIGHT NOW!! I'm serious!! I've attached the trailer to give you a little sample. If you have seen it please comment and let me know your thoughts! I for one LOVED it!!



Next up we are planing on watching and reviewing 'Zombie Strippers' got love some Jenna Jameson!! We are off to get into more shenanigans, so you all make sure and have a great weekend and we will catch you later!!

xoxo
~Lizzie

3/17/11

The Stranger

A stranger is defined as "One who is neither a friend or acquaintence". The good part is our stranger doesn't have to be some creepy man lurking in the shadows... unless of course that's what your in to. We have a much more fun and blood depriving definition.

A stranger is: Make your hand fall asleep and masturbate... Yep. That's what we learned when looking up random sex acts. The idea is that you numb hand will feel like someone else doing your business. What we've discovered (through pure accident of course) is that when your hand actually falls asleep that it has no grip and little control. So what you would get is a sloppy and weird experience that has the potential to be more painful for your hand than it would be fun for anything else. Of course we encourage anyone to share their experiences with The Stranger. So all comments on the subject are welcome.

Here at randomness we like to share how words and phrases infiltrate our vocabulary (of course feel free to use anything we've warped for yourself). We've been using the phrase "Ack! I have a stranger!!" when any limb falls asleep. So, confuse your friends and make them laugh he next time your arm gets all tingly.

All Hail The Beer!

Normally, you wouldn't hear such a grand statement from me. In fact, I'm quite judgemental and critical when it comes to suds... Never the less... I have to say it.

This could very well be the best beer in the world. That's right, the fine folks at Atwater have made an amazing brew called Vanilla Java Porter and it could possibly be quite the life changing liquid. Coffee, Chocolate, Malted goodness, and Vanilla... all in a porter. Yes, Liz and I are addicted and plan on spending much money on this fine drink.

Thank you wonderful people at Atwater. You do Detroit proud.

Visit the fine folks of Atwater here.

Happy Birthday Mr. Bitey!

This is the day that the love of my life was born, so as you can imagine I believe it is a day to be celebrated! Please join me in wishing Mr. Bitey a very happy birthday!

Thanks for being such an amazing, wonderful boyfriend babe! Also....when you get home later...we have birthday spankings to discuss....

xoxo

Ms. Bitey

Mr. & Ms. Bitey and Corn Ponies

What would randomness be without well, being random. So we're chaging our last name to "Bitey" in honor of the cat from Kickass... Yeah, we just wanted to do it. We expect all fan mail to be henceforth addressed to Mr. & Ms. Bitey.

Corn Ponies
The word Unicorn has been abolished. The new name for said fantasy animals are Corn Ponies. (Incorrect usage can lead to inprisonment up to 3 years and a $10,000 fine)

The Text Sext Party

We're trying to figure out where the texts go when they fly out into the atmosphere and don't seem to make it to their destination for hours or even days later. With a little investigation we found the answer!

We immediately figured that the texts are going to a party. Probably something sultry and suggestive, yet fun and bubbly. I mean why not right? What else could they possibly be doing? Imagine a place where all your texts filter through. It's like Grand Central Station for texts. Everyone has to go through there so obviously you're going to make friends and from there probably learn about all the hot spots. So we're pretty sure that the texts find out about some place where the spanking sexts are hanging out or the where the barely legal party pics are having a get together and poof! Off your text goes for a few hours, or even a steamy night away, not to be delivered to your phone until they get their fill in the nether regions of cyberspace.

So next time your text, sext, or text pic doesn't make it directly to the person you sent it to, you now know that it probably took a detour at Jane Doe's sleepover party complete with naked feather pillow fight before it got to where it's going. So make sure you clean your phone when you get late texts and for good health you probably want to wash your hands as well.